Back story

I have been in school forever. I doesn't make me happy, and I'm not sure it ever has, so why then do I go? To quote the movie Orange County "Because thats what you DO after high school!" Knowing no alternative, I dutifully went to college. Working all the while to pay my bills, it took me three years to get through a supposed two year program at the local community college, whereupon I transfered to the University of California Riverside. I stayed in the dorms for my first two quarters and did quite well. By last summer Rebecca and I were engaged and we moved into an apartment near campus. In september I registered for several classes, and began my second year of three. The quarter did not go well. The year did not go well. I failed some classes, squeaked my way into some decent grades at the end of winter quarter and recently dropped out altogether. As the word "looser" rang in my head, I began to re-evaluate my life. Why had  done so well the year before and so poorly this year?

I have come up with four factors. 

     1. I took all the classes that I was truly interested in and was now stuck filling up units.

     2. The dorm lifestyle forced social contact that I am not naturally inclined toward.

     3. I didn't actually like my major, I chose History because it was the path of least resistance.

     4. I hate both our apartment and the city of Riverside, Ca.

What now?

     Well, problems 2 and 4 were the easiest to solve: move, and live with more people. We are moving in with Rebecca's parents in Fresno, Ca. We are helping them clean up 30 years of clutter and poor organization in return for free rent food, and good company. 

     Problems 1 and 3 are linked and have three possible solutions. I can quit college altogether, though this is by no means my favorite solution I am no longer ruling it out. If I can find an entry level career position in some field that does not require a degree I might very well take it. Alternatively, I could transfer school and finish up my last three semesters as a History major. This option has the benefit of being fast and more secure in the long run, but frankly I'm not sure I could bring myself to endure that much more of required subjects and classes that hold little or no interest to me. The third option is one that I believe would bring me the most long term happiness, that is to change majors to Biology. I have wanted to pursue a science degree since I was little. However, high school, and community college's focus on humanities and general education left me ill prepared for a science major. I would need to catch up in both math and chemistry. A bachelors degree in Biology would take me a full three years, or more depending on class offerings. 

I am leaning toward the Biology degree. It will suck to restart, but I have something I didn't start with: family support. But the changes I want to implement go deeper than my degree choices. I want to learn how to do all the things I take for granted. I want to learn to cook, make bread, brew beer, garden, home improvement, car repair, etc...

This blog is going to keep track of each step I take on my journey to truly become "The Happy Panda".